


Moments

by arctickchild



Category: Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-26
Updated: 2012-12-26
Packaged: 2017-11-22 12:29:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/609840
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/arctickchild/pseuds/arctickchild
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a moment.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments

There's a moment.

Leaning against the workbench, listening to him describe his nightmares while she leaned against his shoulder, there's one small moment.

He speaks of Malachor, of the dead and the echoes, and she pulls away from him and looks him in the eye, and there's a brief moment where she thinks she could love him. It's foolish and dangerous and so very, very tempting – but no. She knows the truth, and she knows that whatever she feels, it doesn't matter. She can't love him – they're Jedi, and she's his master, and everything she's learned says that it can't happen.

But there's a moment, and in the end, that's all it takes.

* * *

When she runs into him on Telos, she knows who he is immediately.

It's less because he was so memorable as it is that she has spent the last ten years wondering. Wondering why he built that damn machine, wondering how she could have done everything differently. Hating him, and hating herself for blaming him for an order that she gave.

He's quiet and reluctant and he feels familiar, he feels like a starship wrapped in life and a planet that stirs beneath fighting cruisers, and she knows who he is because she has never let herself forget the face of the man who changed her forever.

* * *

After Korriban, she seeks him out. Not to talk, or to confess. Just to sit in the garage, leaning against the workbench and letting the feel of him through the Force wash over her, the strength and focus and warmth. She loves that feel, loves sitting there and watching him work, listening to the quiet song of his hands dancing through wires and his soft muttering of instructions so he doesn't forget what he should be doing.

She watches him, and she wonders, because of all the echoes she cut down in that damn tomb, his was the only one that made her hesitate.

* * *

He goes with her everywhere, because somehow he has become the person she uses to balance herself. He's there when she fights her way up the Sky Ramp, when she kills for Khoonda and when she flees Goto's base.

It scares her, sometimes, how much she cares for him, because she knows he won't stay. She knows she can't stay. Eventually, they will leave each other; a new hole in her stomach, a scar she knows won't fade away. One day she'll be alone again, with nothing to remind her of herself but the memory of strength.

* * *

There's a moment.

As she sits in Kreia's quarters, listening to the Disciple speak, there's a small moment where she knows she loves him.

She sits there, listening to the Disciple trying to convince her of a lie, and she finds herself searching for him through the Force, searching for the calm centre she's found through their bond. And she knows, in that moment, that it's fine, really. Whatever the Jedi had taught her of love, it doesn't matter, because she can still find him, can still draw strength from him. And that bond, that strength that he gives to her so freely –

That, she knows, is worth fighting for.


End file.
